


Draco Malfoy and the Cursed Sweater

by slytherco



Series: 25 Days of Drarry [4]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Christmas Crack, Christmas Fluff, Comedy, Crack, Draco Malfoy Being Draco Malfoy, Established Relationship, Fluff and Crack, Humor, M/M, Possessive Harry, Prank Wars, Pranks and Practical Jokes, Prankster Harry Potter, Ugly Sweaters, Unspeakable Draco Malfoy, so a drama queen, so basically harry being James Potter's son
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-05
Updated: 2019-12-05
Packaged: 2021-02-26 03:02:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,804
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21676471
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/slytherco/pseuds/slytherco
Summary: Day 4 of 25 Days of Drarry.Prompt: “That sweater is ridiculous.”---After falling victim to Harry's stupid prank, Draco finds an unexpected partner in crime.
Relationships: Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter
Series: 25 Days of Drarry [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1559188
Comments: 15
Kudos: 345





	Draco Malfoy and the Cursed Sweater

**Author's Note:**

> I have this headcanon that they play ridiculous pranks on each other at home, mainly because Harry 1) is James’s son and 2) likes to see Draco fuming, and Draco, well, he just has to retaliate - so have some Drarry deliberately fucking with each other. Ugly sweaters, a dash of fluff, and Christmas at the Burrow. Oh, and did I mention? This is absolute, complete crack, I’m so sorry (on the other hand, ugly Christmas sweaters are cracky in nature, so).
> 
> [Tumblr](https://slytherco.tumblr.com/post/189481073373/25-days-of-drarry-day-4)

Draco banged on the bathroom door for what must have been the sixth time in the last fifteen minutes. “Potter! For the last fucking time, we’re already ten minutes late! Get the hell out of there or I’ll blow up this bloody door!”

“We’re not late. And stop shrieking, I’m coming!”

Draco narrowed his eyes. “Not for the next month, if I have anything to say about it”, he muttered under his breath and resumed his nervous pacing.

It’s not like it was going to be his first time at the Weasleys’ house. They had been invited a few times before. But it was their first Christmas there and Draco wanted everything to go smoothly. The Weasel’s entire family was going to be there this time, so probably around fifty people, or so he imagined. _Note to self - stop calling him_ Weasel. _You’re not at school anymore. And it will make Potter happy, though Merlin only knows why that matters._

His musings were interrupted when his nitwit of a boyfriend finally graced Draco with his presence. It took him one look at the man to stop in his tracks.

“Harry, dear”, he sent him the fakest, crazy-eyed smile of the century. “What in the everloving _fuck_ are you wearing?”

“What, this? It’s my Christmas sweater”, Harry smiled at him brightly.

The sweater was, in Draco’s expert opinion, an abomination on the face of Earth. It depicted a hideous house-elf, carrying a sack full of presents, wearing a Santa’s hat and a Christmas sweater with the letter H. Surely, Potter wasn’t really going to wear this eyesore to dinner.

“Potter”, Draco pinched the bridge of his nose. “The elf on your sweater is _wearing a sweater_. It’s ridiculous.”

“I know, it’s wicked! Got yours right here, too”, Potter pulled out another bloody sweater from behind his back. Where was he getting those, Janus Thickey Fashion Centre?

Draco grimaced. “Get this thing away from me! Your work injuries must have finally given you brain damage if you thought for one second-”

“All right, all right!” Harry came closer and gave him a brief peck on the lips. “No need to be so dramatic”, there was an impish smile playing on his lips and Draco did not like it one bit. “But you _could_ at least try it on.”

Draco scowled. “Let me think. No.”

“Oh, come on! Just for a second”, Harry pouted, clearly thinking it would work on Draco. _Idiot._

“Potter, do we really have _the time_ to do this right now?!” his voice went a bit higher than he was comfortable with but it was still better than the whole Weasley clan looking at him with hostility.

Harry hooked his fingers into Draco’s belt loops and pulled him closer. “What if I told you that you’ll be _handsomely_ rewarded when we get back?”

Draco hesitated. If an offer of wicked, athletic sex was on the table, he could be persuaded to reconsider.

He let out an indignant huff. “Fine. Since we’re already late. You better start coming up with a bloody good excuse, you tosser”, ignoring Harry’s muffled snort, he waved his hand dismissively, snatched the offending garment from the other man’s hands and pulled it over his head. If it ruined his hair, there would be hell to pay. “I honestly don’t know what’s more disturbing: that you assign me ridiculous tasks in exchange for sex, or that I agree to do them.”

He stood there, feeling like a complete lunatic. The sweater was emerald green, with a huge golden letter D and a fluffy, glittery Santa hat on top of the letter. And the hat had a _little bell. Oh, for fuck’s sake._

Harry was watching him with a goofy smile plastered to his handsome face. _All right, so this garbage had one redeeming quality._ So sue him, he liked Potter’s smile. “You look dashing, love. Let’s go”, Harry took his hand and started dragging him to the floo.

“Wait, let me just take off this monstrosity”, Draco pulled on the back of his collar and... nothing. It didn’t budge. “What the-”

He pulled again, this time a bit harder. Some sort of force was holding the blasted sweater down. It wasn’t exactly stuck to his body, but nevertheless, he just _couldn’t_ take it off. “Potter”, he hissed.

Harry burst out in a fit of laughter. “Do you remember that Puking Pastille you slipped into my lunchbox last month? Because I do. And Kingsley sure does, too.”

“So you’re retaliating _on Christmas?!_ Merlin, Potter, sometimes you’re more Slytherin than you let on.” He whipped out his wand, pointed it at himself and muttered a _Finite Incantatem_. 

Unfortunately, it did not work. “What hellish curse did you put on this?”

Harry grabbed him by the wrists, still giggling, the bastard. “Fred and George sold them before Christmas and had a few left on hand. And since Valentine’s day is what, two months away? They’re developing some new charms for a new product line. And, well, they gave me two for testing”, Harry’s smile turned devilish. “The spell will break when someone kisses you.”

Draco was having trouble processing all this information, looking at Harry in consternation. “So, what are you waiting for?” He leaned in but the other man put a finger on his lips.

“After dinner.”

“Potter, have lost your fucking mind? I can’t go anywhere dressed like that, come over here and kiss me!”, Draco bellowed, as Harry, cackling, dragged him to the floo.

The dinner was an ordeal. Don’t get him wrong, everybody was perfectly nice and pleasant. However, the looks and reactions the two of them had received were decidedly _not._ The twins were delighted their charmwork worked and informed him that should he fail to find someone to kiss, it should wear off in roughly twelve hours (” _Oh, isn’t that just bloody fantastic.”_ ). Ron almost spit out a bite of cake when they entered through the floo and was wheezing so hard, he had to go outside to calm down (” _I hope you choke on that, Weasley!_ ”) and even Granger, now a fellow Unspeakable, was hiding a smile behind her hand (” _Et tu, Brute?_ ”). Harry kept lovingly massaging his thigh under the table and occasionally kissing his cheek (which didn’t work, as it had to be _on the mouth_ , according to Fred) but that did little to soothe his nerves. But when Mrs. Weasley pinched his cheek, raving about how sweet they looked in matching sweaters, and promising to knit him something _extravagant_ next year, Draco had had enough. It was time for payback. 

“Granger! Hermione!”, he caught her after dinner, when everybody scattered to lounge on the sofa, have coffee, and catch up. “I need you to kiss me. Potter won’t budge and this atrocious sweater is driving me insane. Molly might just start a fashion line for me”, he said matter-of-factly, as if they were discussing a business transaction. After a pause, he rolled his eyes. “Well, go on then, get it over with.”

Hermione looked at him funny and erupted into hysterical laughter. “Draco Lucius Malfoy, I most certainly will _not!”,_ she then proceeded to giggle uncontrollably, with others in tow. To think she called herself a friend. 

Draco shot a look to Ginevra, who smiled at him brightly. “Come any closer and I’ll kill you”.

He backed down immediately. “Fair enough.”

Draco looked around as Harry chuckled lowly, lounging on the couch. He turned to face his infuriating boyfriend. “Potter. I swear on everything that is holy, if you don’t come over here and snog me right the fuck now, I’ll violate Weasley right where he stands!”

Ron perked up, half of a sandwich in his mouth. “Oi, Malfoy, keep your forked tongue away from me or I’ll hex your bollocks off!”

Draco sneered. “I’d like to see you try.”

“Does it matter which Weasley?” A low, male voice sounded in the room, as the eldest of Ron’s siblings entered the room. _William_ , his mind supplied. Draco met him only recently but even he had to admit that the bloke was damn fit. _Oh, this just got fun_.

Draco smirked, darting a quick look at Potter, whose smile waned a little, but was still there. “Why, are you offering? What’s in it for you?”, the Slytherin in him couldn’t resist asking. And, well, this one? Draco wouldn’t mind.

Bill chuckled, fingers fiddling with his fang earring. “You see, Malfoy, my lovely brothers along with Harry here, once played a prank on me, too. I won’t go into detail; just know that I still remember the dressing-down of the century I got from mum that day.” He leaned on the wall, his hand next to Draco’s head. His eyes were gleaming with mischief, sending a silent message: _Trust me and just go with it_. Draco grinned and gave him an imperceptible nod. Bill continued. “It’s some kind of spell, right? Well, I happen to be a Curse Breaker. So, ruining their fun”, he jerked his head in the general direction of Harry and the twins, “and helping a fellow victim in need? That just sounds like killing two birds with one stone.”

If Draco’s vision wasn’t obscured by Bill’s (admittedly handsome) face, he would have seen Hermione and Ginny craning their necks, mouths agape, and Ron’s face going ashen. He gulped, praying Potter would take the bait. When the taller man lowered his head, Draco felt a sharp pull around his waist and seconds later, he was being dragged towards the floo. And by none other than a crimson-faced Harry Potter who apparently went into full-on Saviour Mode. 

Harry shouted a rushed _Thank you, Molly, see you all next week, Merry Christmas, buh-bye!_ And then, the cacophony of laughs faded away as they both disappeared into the floo.

When they emerged in their room on Grimmauld Place 12, Harry practically threw him on the bed ( _Damn, he was strong_ ) and pinned him there, straddling his waist.

“You. Slytherin. Fucker”, Harry growled, his eyes boring fiercely into Draco.

“Wasn’t that the one you told me you had a crush on?”, he asked nonchalantly, his brow arched. “Also, you do realize we played you?”

Harry smiled down at him. “Yes, to both. Didn’t expect him to be your partner in crime. And, for the record: no one else is allowed to touch you, or kiss you, as long as I’m _breathing_ , am I making myself clear?” His tone was playful but his eyes went serious.

“Well, good, because I don’t _want_ anyone else”, Draco replied in a petulant voice. “Now, kindly get to work and take this damn sweater off of me!”

Harry, staying true to his word, generously rewarded his boyfriend for putting up with all the pranks, sweaters and Weasleys they had encountered that day.


End file.
